


Empathy

by KatieKomics



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: BBTerra - Freeform, First Person, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, and it annoys her, pining over a gal already in a relationship, raeterra, raven can feel the emotions of other people, raven pines, raven reflects on stuff, she's not dead she's sleeping, uh oh angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 01:31:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieKomics/pseuds/KatieKomics
Summary: (Originally published on Wattpad)Raven always found Terra unsettling. Her actions never matched her feelings. Raven could never understand her.





	Empathy

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Wattpad last year, but since I got an AO3 account I figured I'd publish recent works here, too!

When they first met, all the danger Raven associated with Terra came from her lack of control. Terra's powers were extreme and unpredictable. Seemingly, they could also be triggered by emotion. Raven understood that much without needing much actual insight from Terra herself.

Raven had always been intuitive to a degree that she could feel what those around her felt. To be able to see and recognize the emotions of others around her with pinpoint accuracy were one of Raven's powers. Terra was always volatile, but that was nothing new for a Titan. Being around heroes all the time was often exhausting for Raven partially as a result of their strong emotions. She could only last so long in a crowd before needing to spend time alone. Despite her demeanour, Raven could read her friend's emotional states like a book. Understanding them was more difficult. Feeling could only say so much and Raven couldn't read minds.

Raven had known from the beginning that Terra was fighting something back. Terra was always feeling something and rarely was it straightforward. Terra's love of her teammates was all that Raven could really make sense of. Everything else Terra felt was convoluted to the point that Raven would much rather leave Terra to talk about it when she felt it necessary. If she ever did find it necessary. Besides, all of the Titans had their confusing moments. With Terra, however, that strangeness never really stopped.

It was only really a matter of time before Terra cracked. Not only had she been tying back what she thought and felt, but she had been hiding her lack of control over her powers. Terra was heartbroken when she thought Beast Boy had told the rest of the team. In reality, they had already drawn their own conclusions. The room had been heavy with their sombre tones.

When Terra officially joined the Teen Titans, something about her had changed. Her complicated emotions from before were suddenly almost fighting each other. Guilt ate her up from the inside when she wasn't distracted or wasn't with Beast Boy. When they were together, Terra was at her happiest. Raven couldn't see the appeal. Not of Beast Boy, at least, but he made Terra's heart soar. When he left Terra would sink as though she was made of stone. Raven had never felt anything like it herself. 

When one of the Titans had strong and conflicting emotions, usually something would happen to make it obvious. None of them could hide from each other forever. Raven waited for Terra to say something, to want to talk about herself or her feelings like the rest of her team had, but Terra never did. It made Raven anxious, to watch this person whose internal climate completely betrayed how she appeared on the outside.

Terra looked harmless and happy. Happier with the second. Her joy pulled at Raven's heart when she felt it. It seemed like the Titans had warmed to Terra, but everything about her was offputting to Raven. Terra reflected the sunlight as if she drew her positivity from the time she spent outside with her team. Her hair shone when she ran past Raven, chasing Beast Boy ahead of the rest of them as they raced back to the tower after a mission. Terra looked almost out of place in the city and surrounded by grey. In the sunlight, she glowed. Her smile captured it. Raven seemed to be the only one who didn't trust Terra.

When Terra was happy it was contagious. Her smile made Raven freeze. It looked genuine and to a degree it always was. Despite that, there was always the looming knowledge that something about Terra was off. On the inside, she had no reason to be smiling. Raven had never seen her cry. 

Raven waited to say something to Terra. She waited for the opportunity to ask her about herself without startling her. Raven had scared people before when she hadn't meant to. It wasn't something she was unfamiliar with, but at the time her only real interactions with Terra had been brief and cold. When they did happen, the sinking disappointment Raven could feel from Terra would cut through her. Raven would feel awful, which she figured was hardly fair. They barely knew each other. It shouldn't be a surprise that Raven doesn't trust her.

It wasn't for a while that Terra got through to Raven. While on one of their missions, Raven had demanded Terra be more careful with her powers. In Raven's defence, Terra was reckless and could have hurt somebody. Raven was surprised when Terra didn't lash back at her. In fact, she didn't seem as angry as Raven expected her to be. She was far more forlorn and disappointed instead. Maybe it was sympathy that led Raven to let her guard down. Even if that wasn't the case, at the time Raven didn't regret her choice for a second.

Even after her interactions with Terra had started to thaw, there were things about her that bothered Raven. For one, Terra's emotions still didn't match her actions. If anything, the difference between them only grew with time. Terra seemed to be completely faking even her smile at times. Her glow had dulled. Raven's second concern was the fact that she missed that light. She would rather see Terra distracted and happy than see her fake it. The one constant was Beast Boy. His effect on Terra never seemed to fade. The two of them only got closer. Raven purposely averted her gaze as Terra hugged him. She could read exactly how much Terra loved him but couldn't for the life of her tell why. Raven could feel herself sink before forcing herself away and into her room. She would need time alone more often.

Raven found herself continuously looking for a way to make sense of her own thoughts and feelings. She wanted to talk to Terra, but never could. Raven would always find herself intruding on something else Terra had planned. She could tell just by being near Terra that she was purposely filling her schedule. As long as she was doing something, Terra was happy. Even if this strategy was losing its effectiveness. Terra's light continued to fade both in frequency and intensity as whatever it was she kept hiding from wore her away like water over stone. Raven could read every moment of Terra's struggle and failed at every turn to uncover what it was she continued to bury in her head.

Beast Boy one day confided in Raven that he was making Terra a present. He was giddy as he talked about it but nonspecific in the details. Raven pretended she didn't care. Beast Boy spent days working on his project on and off. He seemed to try and be as nonsuspicious as possible, mostly working in short intervals at a time. Raven recognized him making his way to work on it from all the way down the hall. He was on cloud nine as he finished Terra's gift. He planned to give his present to Terra as soon as he finished it. Beast Boy's excitement was contagious. As he rushed to wrap his gift Raven thought that she may have a sort of plan forming. A way to explain herself and talk to Terra. Not yet, though. Not while Beast Boy was waiting to talk to her already. Another day, maybe.

All Raven really recognized from her room as Terra and Beast Boy spoke was the extinguishing of joy, followed by quick reinforcement of it stronger than before. Raven decided she was somewhat content with that. Beast Boy and Terra were happy. With that knowledge, Raven lost herself to her books. 

Titans Tower was attacked that night. Beast Boy and Terra were missing through it all. When Beast Boy returned, he did so without Terra. 

Raven didn't have the words to describe how she felt at the news of Terra's betrayal. She felt as though everything that she'd read in Terra had suddenly been passed on to her and she didn't have the means to suppress it. Raven locked herself in her room and pulled her cloak tight over herself as she gritted her teeth and focused all her energy into control of her powers. The papers scattered on the floor fluttered with each ragged intake of breath as Raven rocked herself, but Terra was still present in her mind. No matter how hard Raven tried to redirect her attention, some part of her refused to forget or deny she cared. Raven felt as though she was torn apart from the inside. She'd never even spoken to Terra the way she wanted to. She'd waited too long. Raven didn't know when or if she'd ever see Terra again and the thought left her in a state of dread that lasted until their eventual reunion.

Terra's light was gone. She stood in the shadow of a man who terrified all of them. Terra didn't seem to mind. She seemed almost proud. When she smiled, Raven believed it, even if it was just for a moment. Something about Terra was still off. This time, Raven could place her finger on it.  
It was as though a switch had been flipped. Everything that Terra had been suppressing was suddenly surrounding her like thick smoke. All the tangled and unintelligible fear and anger was now overpowering. Even as the Titans continued to fight and Terra continued to win, over and over, Raven could still see something about Terra was strange. Her actions betrayed her emotions. They were faint, but there was still some love in Terra. She was distracting herself from it in the same way she'd distracted herself from her fear. There was one constant. Terra still turned away from her guilt.

Terra could have killed them all. She could have drowned Raven in the mud and left her to never be found again. Raven choked and sputtered as Terra dragged her down, but through it, she could still feel what Terra felt. It was loud and sharp, splitting and horrible as second-hand guilt tore from Terra to Raven. Raven relished in the knowledge that through it all, Terra could never let them die and Raven knew it.

That didn't mean that Raven wasn't ready to fight back. She had every reason to do so. After Terra had left, Raven dug herself out of the mud and gave chase. She caught Terra off guard as she held a boulder above Beast Boy, waiting to let it drop. Even as Raven rushed towards them, she could feel she had time. Terra couldn't bring herself to hurt him anymore. Something else was in control. All of a sudden, Terra's guilt had overridden her, and she had fallen to it. All the anger and confusion she'd been holding back was now targetted at Slade.

The Titans watched as Terra forced herself to fight back. Raven tensed as pain ripped through Terra's body with each step she took. Every blink felt like it lasted for both an eternity and no time at all as Terra shook the cave around them, agitating the magma that surrounded the rocks where she stood. Raven could feel herself reeling as Terra watched with a combination of horror, guilt, and fear as Slade disappeared under the surface of the magma.

The rest of the Titans fled reluctantly as Terra stayed behind to stop the eruption of what was once Slade's lair. As they fled, Terra watched them leave with conviction and acceptance. Then with a sudden flash, everything that Raven could feel of Terra had disappeared.

It hurt Raven terribly to visit Terra, frozen in stone, and to feel no emotion from her. No light or warmth, no anger or fear. It was surreal. Terra stood before her, perfectly still, and yet she wasn't there at all. Raven had promised Beast Boy they would look for a way to bring Terra back, but even as she said so she doubted the possibility that they ever could.

Raven sat cross-legged next to Terra. She levitated as if she was meditating. Beast Boy and the others hadn't come with her. In fact, after a while, they had all stopped visiting at all. Raven had, too. She still decided one day that she should see Terra. Raven had a feeling that she then understood her former teammate better than she ever had. They were more alike than Raven had once thought. She felt as though it was high time she talked to Terra, even though she knew Terra couldn't hear her.


End file.
